Celebrations

I like to think that my blog is a pretty fun place. I share cute stories and pictures for the enjoyment of humanity. Well I have been told by a few people that my blog has made them cry. When I mentioned this to Mack he told me that when he reads it at school, he has gotten misty a few times. Hmm. Well I hope this doesn't make anyone cry, but today's post is going to be of a more serious nature.
Today is Brisbane's birthday. Believe me, we are having a good time at our house today. I will post all about it later this week. And even though we are having a good time I have been dreading this day for about a month.
We were at the zoo yesterday (another future post) and ran into some old co-workers of mine. It came up that the next day (aka today) was Brisbane's birthday and one of them said, "So that means that a year ago today (aka yesterday) you had NO children?" Oh my honk! He was right!
Mack and I tried for a while to have children the conventional way. At about the year mark we decided to try infertility testing and treatments to see if it would help. We knew that we wanted a large family and thought we had better get this show on the road. We felt inspired to have kids but the kids just weren't coming. So we did the tests. We had some issues. We did some treatments. And no kids. We were heartbroken. It was a very hard time in my life. I felt really alone when everyone around me was pregnant and had beautiful families. I hated going to family events where everyone had a million kids and that is what people talked about...their kids. It was my biggest trial to date and also my most faith building experience.
We continued to pray and have faith that we would have a family and in the meantime felt inspired that we should look into adoption. When Mack and I were dating we had talked about adopting some children eventually. I think we both kind of imagined that it would be after we had already had some biological children and we were in a more stable life phase. But adoption was always definately on the radar.
So we started looking into it. We started taking adoption classes in October 2010. We knew that adoption can take a loooong time and so we were prepared for lots of months/years of waiting. In December 2010 we found out that if we were interested in doing a private adoption (aka expensive) there were a few birth mothers that might be interested in meeting us. We prayed. With the help of some family members we decided we would be able to do a private adoption if we got selected.
We were interviewed in December by a very nice woman. She was having a little girl and we thought there was a chance. No go. She picked another family with three boys. We were sad. Then one of the adoption workers told us about Cory. As she started talking to us I knew that this was it. Cory was having a little baby boy. We were so excited to meet her. The appointment kept getting postponed and in January 2011, we finally met.
She told us at that meeting that she wasn't considering any other couples and that she wanted us to adopt her son. It was divine intervention. I knew it. She knew it. We were family forever. I went to all of her doctor's appointment with her. We laughed. We cried. And we got to know each other pretty well. Then she got admitted to the hospital two months early due to pre-eclampsia. I went and visited her every day. Now Cory and I would probably never have been friends normally. We come from very different walks of life and have basically nothing in common. But during those two weeks that she was in the hospital she became my friend. I loved her. I loved her for how much she loved her baby. I loved her for loving Mack and me. And I loved her for giving us the opportunity to be parents.
Brisbane was born five weeks early. We got to be in the OR when he was born c-section. Mack got to cut the cord. I was holding Cory's hand when he was born. It was one of the coolest memories and something I will always cherish. When people adopt there is no guarantee that you will be able to tell your kids their birth story. We have that for Brisbane. Because we were there.
Then came the worst three days of my life. In Arizona, birth mothers have to wait three days to sign away their parental rights. Cory loved Brisbane. She vascilated. She thought about keeping him. I spent every day in the NICU with Brisbane. Those nurses were pulling for me and they were my therapy through those three days. My parents were waiting in New Mexico to start driving as soon as they heard the papers had been signed. Three days later she did it. The bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do. She signed the papers. Brisbane was ours (not quite officially) but good enough for us.
And now he is one year old. I can't believe that it has been a year. I can't believe Cory moved to California and we haven't seen her since June. I can't believe how big he is and how perfect he is and how different he is than I ever expected him to be. People tell us all the time that he looks like us. And he kind of does.
It has been almost three years since we started trying to get pregnant. We still have hope and faith that it will happen. But it's ok if it never does. I would be perfectly content if all of our children came into our family through this crazy miracle of adoption.
But today I am kind of sad. Sad that I will never be able to tell Reese and Jessenia about their births. Sad that we may never witness the birth of another of our children. Sad that our little baby isn't a baby anymore. I am so excited that we have made it to one year. Three kids and one year later. That Brisbane doesn't have any effects from being in the NICU for five days on a feeding tube and oxygen. We are so blessed with a healthy and beautiful baby boy. I am equal parts grateful and overjoyed and blessed and sad.
I hope every day that Cory knows how much we love her and are grateful to her. She is our hero. She is a part of our family forever.
The other day, Reese and Jessenia's case worker was here. We were talking about why Reese and Jessenia were not adopted by another family that they were placed with for adoption. And the case worker said, "Because they were meant to be in your family". It is so true. I believe it. Cory was meant to give birth to Brisbane. But he was meant to be raised in this earth life by Mack and me. He was meant to be sealed to us forever. He was meant to be the little brother to Reese and Jessenia. And they were meant to be our little boys and girl. I believe it with all of my heart.
And so today we are eating cake and opening present and making monster masks. But we aren't just celebrating a little boy turning one. We are celebrating our journey as a family of five (for now). How we got to this place from a year ago. We are celebrating Cory and her gift to us. And we are celebrating all of our family and friends who prayed for us and spoke words of encouragement when we were down. We love you all. A lot. Just not as much as we love our kids!
P.S. Ok, I admit it. I totally cried when I wrote this. Sorry everyone.
In related news: I got a call today from Reese and Jessenia's attorney's social worker (complicated, eh?). She called to let me know that the court case concerning the kids was settled. I try not to post too much about their past on a public forum because they are not legally ours yet. But the long and short is that their birth parents were appealing the decision to have their parental right severed. The hearing was held earlier this week and we found out today that the judge upheld the initial decision. That means that Reese and Jessenia are really truly legally free to adopt. Which means if everything goes smoothly we could finalize the adoption this summer. Woo hoo! This is a good day. Definately in the top five best days of my life!