Empathy

I had some particularly special students back in my hey day as a fourth grade teacher.  On several occasions, I had parents come and sit with their child to curb some sort of misbehavior or lack of effort.  This usually proved to be quite effective.  Let's face it, no fourth grader likes to have their mother at school with them.  Not.  Cool.
Yesterday, I got a huge slice of empathy for those parents.  Reese has a little aggression problem.  We go to counseling every couple of weeks for it.  I usually get pretty excited at lunch time if we haven't had any hitting/biting/kicking/throwing toys at people/pinching/drawing blood.
We knew sooner than later we might have an issue at school.  And that time came.
I went to pick the kiddos up on Monday and Reese's teacher looked at me and said, "We had a little bit of a problem today".  My heart sank.  She proceeded to tell me he hit a boy in the face three times (admitted to it and apologized) and was running kids over with the bike, even when asked to stop.  I told her we are working on it at home and I was sorry.  I probably didn't appear scandalized enough and the poor teacher may have thought I wasn't taking it seriously.
The truth was, I was mortified.  Nobody wants that to be their kid.  Reese tells me all the time about other kids in his class hitting and now there are kids going home and telling their parents about Reese hitting.  I cried the whole way home.  My sweet little boy.
Reese and I had a long talk about not hitting and that he needs to listen to his teacher.  I told him his teacher loves him and wants him to be a good listener.  He wrote a card to his teacher telling her he was sorry and he knew he had to go back today and tell her sorry and give her the card.  He mentioned it several times over the last few days, and I knew he was mulling it all over.
After I got home I thought about those parents sitting with their child in my class.  I probably judged them too harshly (although I don't really remember).  I hope that people can see that parents really are trying their best to teach their children lessons.  I don't know what miracle I thought was going to occur by having those parents sit with their kids.  Because no amount of me sitting with Reese at preschool will keep him from hitting at this point.
I have much greater empathy for the parents of children who misbehave in public.  People say all the time that children are on their best behavior outside of the home (particularly at school).  But not always.  I am very blessed to have children who generally behave very well in public (I have never had a grocery store meltdown...knock on wood).
There has been no hitting at our house since Monday evening.  I am hoping that this is the start of a new chapter for us.  I love my sweet little boy and pray that he learns to express himself better.  And I pray for all those parents who struggle with trying to help their children learn life lessons, even when it seems that it isn't working, and even when it seem impossible.

Halloween, Take 1

When we first asked the kids in September what they wanted to be for Halloween, they had no idea what we were talking about.  I think Jessenia wanted to be a lion and Reese wanted to be a dinosaur.  Since I had high hopes of making their costumes this year, and those seemed insurmountable, we gave them some guidance.  We included the above mentioned lion and dinosaur in their lists of options, and they finally settled on a Princess and a Train Conductor.
Our neighborhood has a little Halloween party every year.  We have never gone, but decided we would take the kids and check it out.
But a photo shoot was necessary, first:

 We ended up buying Reese's costume, since I couldn't find an overall pattern.

 And he basically is the cutest train conductor I have ever seen.

 We were given a chicken and a ladybug costume from some friends.  This year Brisbane was a Gentleman bug...

 "So! Being a ladybug automatically makes me a girl! Is that it, fly boy? Huh?!"--Francis, A Bug's Life.

 And Jessenia was our Princess.  I made her costume, which basically meant she got the raw end of the deal.

 But I think she was happy.  Mostly because I let her wear makeup.  I am hoping she wants to be a Princess next year, since I learned a lot from making this costume. (Lesson #1:  Make costume when my mother's machine is here... mine can't handle synthetic fabric.)

 Our adorable trio.

 At the party, Brisbane was mostly excited about the free cotton candy.

 Reese and Jessenia loved the bouncy house that they had free reign of.

 And when they were sick of bouncing, they proceeded to eat their way through the party.

 Each of the kids got a goodie bag...the best item was the fake fangs!

Very spooky.  One Halloween Party down.

Baskets of Fun

We don't have cable, just the awesome rabbit ears.  Which is fine most of the time, but during baseball season it is a total drag (yes, I realize baseball season would be in fact "most of the time").  During postseason baseball, it is absolute torture.  So I watch the play by play online and during any tense moments, my dad calls and talks me through it.  He likes to call it, 'holding each others hand'.  Thank goodness the NLCS is on Fox, so that I can just watch the games.  Not that I don't love holding my dad's hand through the phone.  But the Division Series was on cable, so I spent a lot of time listening to my father's own special brand of play by play.

One of these days the kids were outside playing.  There was much contention over who got to play in the blue laundry basket.  The blue laundry basket is where we store the outside toys when we are not playing with them.  I know, the kids have a playset with a slide, a million balls, bikes, the Cozy Coupe, and they are still arguing over a dirty laundry basket.  

So what does any good mother do who is ignoring her kids to listen to the baseball game?  Goes and gets the other two laundry baskets she owns and takes them outside.

 Then the kids were so adorable, I had to take pictures.

 Did you know that the most fun way to play with a laundry basket is to sit in it and then tip over?  I didn't either.  But my kids think it is hilarious.

 Brisbane somehow ended up with the largest basket, which he had a hard time getting in and out of.  It was also not as conducive to tipping.

When outside time was over (aka Dad came home and the baseball game ended), the white laundry baskets came inside and Reese and Brisbane pushed them around the sofa.  Brisbane was cracking up (and cracking us up) with how much fun he was having.  He was trying to stay ahead of Reese and any time he turned around and saw Reese on his tail, he would squeal and have a giggle fit.
I am sure my kids will be happy when baseball season is over and they have their mother back.  But until then, they seem to be having a pretty good time!

Ducky

When Brisbane was in the NICU after he was born, my mother felt like he needed some company.  You know, for those long nights when his mother went home to get some sleep.  So we trucked off to Toys 'R Us and my mother bought him a duck and a frog.  The hospital also gave him a beanie baby shark for his crib/clear bassinet.  Basically, it was more than a little crowded.  But almost every night of his life he has slept with these three critters, who are now affectionately named: Ducky, Froggy, and Toothy (I know, we are very original).

Well Ducky has moved into the lead as Brisbane's favorite.  He drags that thing all over the house.  Before he could walk, he would crawl around carrying Ducky between his teeth.  And he still can be found chewing on Ducky as he walks around the house.  One of Ducky's legs almost came off, so I lovingly sewed it back on (after I had gotten sick of all the stuffing falling out all over the place).  

When Melanie came to visit, she picked up Ducky and said, "Wow.  Looks like Ducky has been taken outside one too many times."  No.  Ducky has never left the confines of our house except to go on vacation.  Ducky has never been played with outside, and yet Ducky was filthy.  I had even just washed him a few days earlier, but Brisbane loves him too much and can't keep him clean.

So when my mom was here a few weeks ago she decided to buy some decoy duckies.  She went to Toys R' Us and bought two backup duckies (you know, in case the leg permanently becomes separated from the body, or one has to be laundered).  The decoy duckies were pretty close to the original, but were definitely different.  They were made of a different type of fabric and were way brighter (from not being drug around and laundered).  My mom introduced Brisbane to Ducky, Episode Two (my name) or Ducky 2.0 (Mack's name).  The look on his face let us know that he knew it was different ....but ....acceptable.  He proceeded to walk around with Ducky, Episode 2.

First mistake was when Brisbane went into the laundry room with me to get something and he saw Ducky, Episode ONE rolling around in the washing machine.  He wanted to get that thing out of there. I had to pull a fast one by taking Ducky, Episode 2 into the laundry room when he wasn't looking and bringing it out like I had pulled it from the washing machine.  He accepted it...disaster averted.

Then one day while Mack and I were trying to keep the other two rugrats from mischief, Brisbane moseyed into our bedroom...into our closet...and found the stash of duckies, Ducky, Episode 1 and Ducky, Episode 3.

 The kid could not have been more excited!  TWO DUCKIES!?!?  It was as if all of his wildest dreams had come true.

Then he found the Ducky, Episode 2 (I know this is confusing but that was the one he was supposed to have at the time).  THREE DUCKIES!?!?!  So many duckies he didn't have enough hands.  It was heaven.
We let him play with them the rest of the night and then the extras went straight back into hiding.  Of course he knows they are there now, so he will try to get into the closet to get the stash.  I just tell him they are sleeping and he has to leave them there (no sense in getting them all hole ridden and dirty at the same time).
I hope that in ten years he will still find joy in the simplest of things.

Primates

On the way to school yesterday we were stopped at a red light and Reese said, "I don't see any monkeys in the trees".  My response, "I don't think there are any monkeys in the trees in Arizona, maybe at the zoo".  End of conversation.
On the way home from school I asked the kids what they wanted for lunch.  Reese: " Noodles, apple, and...gorilla".  Me:  "Well I am fresh out of gorilla at the moment.  But noodles and apples I can do."
Kids. Are. So. Random.

Temple Trip

After we went to the Botanical Gardens on Monday, we drove over to the Mesa Temple for a little walk.  We have been talking about the temple the last few weeks for Family Home Evening as preparation for taking the kids to be sealed in November.  Reese asked a million times, "Is this the Mesa Temple?!"  It was very cute.

 And these kids are pretty cute!

 We tried letting Brisbane be a big kid at the temple with no stroller.  He is so big.  Breaks his mother's heart.  He lagged behind but just kept right on walking.

 Brisbane would not cooperate for a picture by the doors.  You can't really see the kiddo's grins...but I assure you they are adorable.

 When Brisbane fell behind the other kids went to help him.

Jessenia didn't quite have the patience to walk at Brisbane's speed, but Reese stayed with Brisbane a while longer.
When we told the kids that they would get to go inside the doors with Mommy and Daddy one day, Reese had just one question.  "Are there toys inside!?"

Columbus Day

On Friday, the first thing Reese said when he got in the car after preschool today was, "We don't have school on Columbus Day".  "That's right.  No school on Monday." "Why?"  "Because your teachers need a break."  He then went around the whole weekend telling people that there is no school on Columbus Day because teachers need a break.  That was about my understanding of Columbus Day until I was in Middle School, so we still have a few years to correct that misconception.

Mack also had Monday off (YEAH!) and so we decided to take advantage of our Botanical Gardens membership.

We had a fun day strolling through the Gardens and trying to explain all of the plants and the occasional animal to the kids.

 I could only sucker one kid into being in my picture...I must have smelled bad or something.

 The weather is finally cooling down around here.  That means that we are in the low 90's instead of the 100's.  I checked the weather today and the high is supposed to be 77 on Friday...I. can't. wait!

 Mack was the only one lucky enough to have a butterfly land on him in the Butterfly Pavilion.

I wanted Jessenia to squat down next to a butterfly that was sitting on the rocks behind her.  By the time she figured it out, the butterfly was gone, but I got this cute picture of her.
We had a really fun day and we are excited to go back.
This morning at breakfast Reese asked me if it was a school day.  I told him no.  He replied, "Oh.  It's Columbus Day."  Ummmm.....

Siblings= Best Friends

Brothers.  I love that my boys are such good buddies.  Reese may be a little rough.  And Brisbane may be a little destructive.  But at the end of the day they really do love playing together.  I think it is because Jessenia is much better at playing on her own and enjoys living in her own imagination.  Reese and Brisbane sometimes ruin that.  The boys love to run and chase and tackle and wrestle each other.  It is too cute (and definitely dangerous).

But Jessenia joins in the fun a lot of the time and is the perfect sister.  She is equal parts sweet with Brisbane and the perfect playmate for Reese.  I love that my kids are so close in age (or at least today at this moment I love it) because they always have each other.  They may not get along every moment of the day, but they get along most of the time.  

Reese and Jessenia don't usually see each other at preschool but on the rare days that they are at recess together, it is the first thing Reese tells me in the car.  

"Mom!  Jessenia and I had recess together today!"  "Cool.  Did you have fun?"  "She didn't want to play with me.  But I made her."  "Oh. Great."  Jessenia:  "Yeah, it was fun!"

(Disclaimer:  I don't remember if I already put the following story on my blog.)  One day Mack was telling the kids that Mommy was his best friend.  Reese said, "Well Jessenia is MY best friend!"  It was pretty cute and I try to remind him of that when she bugs the heck out of him.

 I got the water table out earlier in the week so Brisbane could play with it while the other kids were at preschool.  Reese and Jessenia have been green with envy ever since.  So I let them have a go at it yesterday afternoon.

 Brisbane loves sharing his water table but sometimes he just has to dive right in and get what he wants.  You go for it Brisanator! (Look at the look in Jessenia's eye.  She is either thinking, "Awwww...look how cute he is."  Or more likely, "Good idea, do you think Mom would think it was ok if I did that too?")

Yummy!

After dinner last night I wanted to do a little something fun with the kids for a treat.  They were really good yesterday and I thought we had all earned it.  So I taught them a really healthy habit from my childhood.

 That's right.  My daughter is learning to spread chocolate icing on saltine crackers.  Most of Jessenia's icing didn't actually make it on her crackers.  She went straight from the knife to her mouth.

 Reese on the other hand put all of the icing on his first cracker so that he had to ask for more for his second.  Smart kid.

 I iced Brisbane's crackers and he decided that the most effective way to eat them was icing first.

 It worked out ok.  And by ok, I mean he was adorable.  I am just not sure how much of the icing he actually got into his mouth.

 Then we had to do a taste test to determine if saltine crackers or graham crackers were better.

It was unanimously decided that graham crackers and chocolate icing are better than saltines with chocolate icing.

Finalization

I am still in mourning about the loss of my pictures.  Plus Best Buy still has my computer to replace the hard drive.  Which means that I am using Mack's Mac (I know, I know...he's cool to have a computer with his name).  Mack is not opposed to me putting pictures on his computer but I just like to have things all in one place so I am holding off a bit, we will see how long I last.
But last week we got some very big news and I thought I should blog about it.  Reese and Jessenia were placed in our home on January 21st.  Crazy, eh?  When we took physical custody we knew that there was a risk that we could lose the kids.  Typically when children are placed for adoption out of CPS custody, it is a done deal.  But occasionally the birth parents will appeal the decision.  When we got the kiddos in January, it had already been six months since the appeal had been made.  We thought a few more months and everything would be settled.  In May the AZ Court of Appeals denied the parent's appeal to overturn the severance.  We were relieved.  We waited the days for the parents to make a second appeal.  Those days passed.  We thought everything was a done deal.
Come to find out in June, that the parents had actually gotten an extension and they HAD appealed to the AZ Supreme Court.  You might remember me posting about how this made me want to puke.  We thought it would take a month (maybe, two) and the whole thing would be settled.  Wrong.  Three months later and we were still waiting.
On Wednesday of last week I spoke with the kid's attorney's social worker and she told me there was no news but that the case file was currently being reviewed by a judge.  Which was nice to hear since up until this point I had assumed it was still sitting in a box somewhere waiting for a judge to come back from his/her wildly exciting vacation to the Bahamas.  The social worker made an appointment to come see the kids the next day.
Fifteen minutes before she arrived on Thursday, I decided to check online again and see if there was an update (I checked at least twice a day).  Miraculously there had been an update.  Mack was home and I read to him that it said the Petition for Review was DENIED.  I didn't cry but I got really misty.  Couldn't believe it.  I had checked so many times and it had never been updated that I never thought it would happen.  Mack was a rock through the whole thing but as the process drug on I began to have doubts.  I worried it was taking so long because the judge was considering hearing the case.  I was worried we were going to have to give the kids back.  I had nightmares about dropping the kids off at random foster homes.  I had nightmares about CPS coming and taking them.  It was horrific.  The idea of puking was humorous in comparison to the worry and nightmares.
When the social worker arrived a few minutes later, she confirmed the news.  There is still a small chance that the birth parents could drag it out again.  They are granted the opportunity to request another review.  We are hoping that doesn't happen.  We have a finalization set for November 7th, and we are full speed ahead for that day.  So barring further complications the kids will be legally ours November 7th.
Then later that month we will go to the temple and have them sealed for time and all eternity as part of our forever family.  I couldn't be more excited.  It is a strange feeling to have kids that you love and cherish and know that they are not yet part of your eternal family.  I can't wait for that day.  I can't wait to see the kid's faces in the temple.  It will be one of the top three days of my life, and I can't wait!