Family Trumps Cancer: Cancer Through the Eyes of a Sister-in-Law



Three years ago we found out that my sister-in-law (Mack’s sister) had breast cancer.  I remember thinking, “It’s Shannon.  She’s tough.  If anyone can beat cancer, it’s her”.  And I think that I am still right.

Recently Shannon’s health has taken a turn for the worse and her family has watched as she, her husband, and their kids have struggled with the news that she will pass away.  When Mack and I found out how sick she was, we decided to make an impromptu trip to Utah to see Shannon, Jay, and their family.  It happened to work out that Mack’s parents were also going to Utah that weekend and all of Mack’s siblings would be converging on Provo at the same time.

I don’t do well with sickness.  I have an understanding with my children that they are not allowed to puke unless Mack is home.  Two of the three have followed that rule, Brisbane has yet to learn the principal of obedience.  I also don’t do well with being sad.  I am not a crier by nature but sadness and saying goodbye will get me every time.  I wasn’t sure what to expect from this trip because add all of those factors to hormonal pregnant woman and I had been a bit of a crying mess the days leading up to the trip.



 

For one thing, I hate seeing Mack sad.  Mack is definitely the more tender hearted one in our marriage.  He is sensitive and caring and sincerely wants to see everyone around him happy.  Having to watch him watch his sister be sick has been devastating to me.  After we got back from our trip to Utah, we were lying in bed one night and he said, “I get to die first.  You aren’t allowed.”  This is a bit of an ongoing debate with us, but it is usually light hearted banter (since we realize we have no control over which of us dies first).  He said, “I can barely stand watching my sister sick, you definitely can’t leave me”.  It broke my heart all over again.

But back to our trip.  When we got home, Mack described it at the perfect combination of sadness and really good fun.  The siblings all shared some of their best memories and Jay recorded his wife talking about various times in her life as her brothers and sisters quizzed her.  We ate lots of yummy food (Mack’s family is really good at the food thing) and spent lots of time visiting.  It was great to see everyone and I am so glad that we went.

 

We took lots of pictures while we were there, but this one is my favorite.  It’s just Mack and I with Shannon and Jay.  When we first arrived and I went to give Jay a hug, the first thing he said to me was, “We are SO excited for you guys!  We pray for you and the babies every night!”  This was the first time I had seen most of the family since we got pregnant.  I was so incredibly touched.  Here is a man who is suffering incredibly and experiencing one of the worst family crises I can imagine, and he is praying for ME.  Shannon and Jay have twin boys and know how excited we are to finally be pregnant.  That is one of the wonderful things about family.  No matter what you are going through in your own nuclear family or in your personal life, you always see the need and always have the desire to pray and have an increased love for your family.  We pray for Shannon, Jay, and the kids every night and are so grateful that they pray for us too.

Leaving Utah was very hard.  We had to say goodbye to all of Mack’s siblings and wonderful family and we had to say goodbye to Shannon.  We may never see her again in this life, but I thank my Heavenly Father every night for eternal families and the knowledge that because Mack and I are sealed and he is sealed to his family, we will get to see Shannon and all the rest of our family again after our mortal journey ends.

Nobody knows how long each of our individual journeys on this earth will last.  Shannon has defied medical odds to still be here today.  I knew three years ago that she was a fighter and after spending two days with her a few weeks ago, that thought has been reaffirmed.  Cancer hasn’t beaten her.  In the end, cancer doesn’t get to win.  Our Heavenly Father’s plan is what wins.  Our faith and our testimonies in our Savior, Jesus Christ, is what wins.  And for that, I am eternally grateful.